Perspective, and keeping it positive.

So I’ve been doing my best to share as much as I can with you guys about real life shit. No one is perfect, and that includes myself. So much has been going on in my life for the past 2.5 years, and I’m finally starting to view things in a different light. I’m learning just how important a fresh, positive, and healthy perspective is to your life. It is so vital to have a positive outlook, because if not, you will only bring forth negativity. That negativity will invade whether you’re cognizant or not.

Take it from ya girl, it is SO EASY to get lost in a negative headspace. I’m talking so easy, that before we know it, we’re not only harming ourselves, but can easily inflict that harm onto those around us, even those that we deeply love. 

Nothing worth having is easy, I know this now by experience. It is so easy to fall into a negative mindset. It’s a fight you have to fight every single day (at least for me) to stay in a positive space. Some of us are stronger than others, some of us have gone through different struggles, and some of us are just in different places in our lives and thought process. These are all okay.

I personally am finding new ways to stay positive for myself, to be able to reflect that positivity onto those in my life. I’ve mentioned a few blog posts back that I do not come from healthy communication, let alone communication period. Realizing that has been a blessing because I am working on refocusing my thoughts and using more appropriate words when I speak life on myself and others. To those I have affected in my journey, I sincerely apologize.

For so long I hadn’t realized that I was only digging a deeper, negative hole for myself and it was all because of my perspective. Perspective is a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. As I mentioned, it’s so easy to fall into negative thoughts, and allow yourself to really believe negative things, subconsciously.

I read somewhere “don’t believe everything you think”. That’s stuck with me so much because until recently I would literally believe everything I thought, which was mostly negative at a point in my life. I would question every single thing because I wasn’t aware of myself. I lacked confidence. I was lost in a season that God placed me to grow in. I wasn’t aware that I was dealing with such fragile emotions in an unhealthy way. 

So what are some healthy ways to keep your perspective fresh? Acknowledgement is first. We have to take a step back and look at our TRUE SELVES. Take a look around you. Give thanks for what you have, and do not dwell on the things you don’t. Give yourself affirmations of the glorious life you live, AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN! Do not dwell on negativity, like staying in a negative or sad mindset for long. Talk yourself out of it! Write down how you feel! Find healthy forms of releasing the negativity. Also, and this is a big one for me since I’m still learning it: TALK IT OUT. I really only knew how to rely on one person and that isn’t good. We have to get our feelings out. Talk to a friend, a family member, a therapist. Anyone who can allow you to release your negatives in a POSITIVE way.

Remember you only get one life, so make the most of it. Start everyday with the right perspective and nothing can stand in your way. For anyone out there consumed by negativity, I see you. I know what that feels like. PROMISE YOURSELF you won’t stop fighting. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you are worth the journey. Keep your best foot forward, and let positive thoughts flow through you. 

Sending you love and light ♥️

xx

@oldsoulvintagejewelry

Old Soul was born out of a love for modern aesthetics but a passion for vintage flair - OSVJ

When I stumbled upon @oldsoulvintagejewelry on my explore page, my love for vintage pieces immediately drew me in. I was dying because EVERYTHING I liked, (which was everything), was sold out!

I love this chunky bracelet combo!

These are gorgeous!

I MEAN 😍. How could you not want it all?

I literally want to wear all of these at the same time 😍 #layers

Ashley Lyons, owner of Old Soul Vintage Jewelry hand makes these gorgeous pieces pictured. She uses 100% authentic vintage buttons and charms, making them all super special and one of a kind!

At a young age, Ashley always gravitated towards things that were old, items that had history and told a story.  Her love of all things vintage continued when she purchased a tin of vintage buttons at a yard sale that had belonged to a woman who was a buyer for Saks Fifth Avenue.  She thought it was such a waste for buttons so beautiful to be kept locked up in the basement for so many years. By combining vintage designer buttons with high quality materials, Old Soul was born!  - OSVJ

Destiny.

You can honestly feel the love in the items the moment you receive them. My first piece from OSVJ was this quilted Chanel bracelet:

I love this shot I got of it!

I loved the quality of the bracelet, from pendant to links to clasp. I’ve always admired vintage designer jewelry growing up. I’d spend hours looking at tons of pictures of vintage Chanel pieces, quilted and turn-lock being my favorites. This one reminds me of those times. It’s very special to me. I merchandised vintage Hermes, Chanel, YSL, etc at a point as well. Here my love only grew further.

I loved my purchase from Old Soul so much, I just couldn’t stop at one. My second piece from OSVJ is on it’s way to me! I definitely have statement necklaces on my wishlist, and more bracelets for sure. This is a new found love for me, and I can’t wait to see my collection grow! It also makes me so happy to be able to support a fellow boss babe! #WOMANRUNIT

🤩🤩🤩

These are so fun!

Images courtesy of OSVJ

You can shop these styles and more on https://oldsoulvintagejewelry.com. Prices start at $125 USD.

Follow @oldsoulvintagejewelry on Instagram to keep up with new releases! Let me know what you think in the comments below!

xx

The effects of social media, and not letting it get to your head.

Let me start this off by saying I absolutely love my social media family and I wouldn’t trade them in for anything in the world! I am so grateful that social media (Instagram specifically) has given me such an amazing platform and I’m so fortunate to have so many amazing supporters on IG, 23.7K and growing to be exact! ♥️

As much as I love it, I’m sure we’ve all been there. I find that the more I use my Insta-G, it’s very easy for me to get caught up in things that don’t matter. Without even realizing it, we begin to compare ourselves to people who only shine a light on a fraction of their lives, and that fraction is made up of rainbows and love songs.

 Most of you already follow me on Instagram @kingdes, and know that I like to keep it as real as possible. If you don’t already follow me, don’t worry, we’ll give you a second to click the link and get acquainted.

Acquainted? Good, let’s continue.

Yesterday I made a #PersonalPost sharing how the last couple of weeks social media has really taken a toll on me. I don’t wish to come off ungrateful, but it is very hard balancing social media being a large portion of my brand, being a mother to a 2 year old, being there for my husby as a wife, and just taking care of myself altogether. The real tea is that I feel as though I hold a big responsibility to my following. I love you all so much, and I want to be there in every way possible, making myself as available as I can be. Without realizing that this app plays such a huge role in my life, it has become very easy for me to fall into what I call the “social media hole”. You start scrolling and scrolling and scrolling until you can’t scroll anymore and subconsciously you made a list of things comparing yourself to others.  I find people are so quick to #Goals someone else’s life (mine included), and not #Goals their own lives! We’re so fast to think “Wow I want what they have, OMG look at her new Balenciagas, sheesh her boobs are perfect, damn I wish I was invited to that event, man why haven’t I moved yet” and the list goes on, and on, and on, until you don’t realize subconsciously you’re putting out negative energy.

What I’m trying to get at is that it’s important for us to remember that social media is just that, social media. People only show about 2% of their real life, and that 2% reflects as 100% happy. No one wants to show their hardships. No one wants to show a struggle. Here is where I differ. I want you all to really know who Destinie is, and get to know me for exactly who I am. I don’t try to hide behind a post curated to emulate perfection. I want to be exactly who I am for you so that you fall in love with me for ME! A REAL HUMAN BEING!

30 paragraphs later, and this blog post point is that I want to help anyone out there who has fallen victim to social media. I decided to do a little research, and I came up with a few tips that I hope can help! —

1. Don’t let social media be the first thing you do in the morning. It’s so easy to grab that phone off the rip. Instead, wake up and give thanks. Be still. Take a couple of minutes to really plant your energy. If you visualize positivity, this is what you will get. Think about what you want to accomplish that day. Take time to focus on yourself, and give gratitude for things you have in your life before you start scrolling and comparing yourself to someone else.  
2. Give yourself a time frame. Some of us use IG as a business tool and HAVE to use it more frequently. I personally made a rule that I will not hop on Insta before 9A. Think about what time you want to get on, what you want accomplish while on, and then get off. Here’s a little fun challenge my best friends church was doing: from 7P-7A NO PHONE! Map something like this for yourself!
3. Be selective with what you respond to. This is a really big one for me. Studies show that stress is caused by  social overload. I personally have to deal with a lot of people on a day-to-day basis, and it can become very overwhelming. Take the time you need to take a step back and don’t always feel like you have to respond. Most importantly, DO NOT RESPOND TO NEGATIVITY.  Sadly everyone isn’t polite on social media, and giving into this will only drain you. Believe me. Keep it positive. 
4. I want to note that it’s totally okay to get inspired by others, BUT never feel like you’re not good enough. The moment you start to see that you’re comparing yourself, or having ill thoughts, close the app.
5. Sometimes the ones we’re inspired by can affect us and that’s okay. Unfollow any pages that make you feel less than grand. Mute them. Swipe to the next story. Do whatever it is you have to do to keep the positive thoughts flowing. 

If you have any tips that help you conquer social, please comment them below! Also, let me know if you’ll be trying any of my tips, and how they work out!

Again, I love you ALL and THANK YOU for being my family ♥️

Louis Luggage Living: Affordable “staycation”

Hey my loves!

Last week was mega hectic for me! My birthday was the 25th, and I had a pop up in Soho the SAME WEEK (which if you’re in NY you can shop my collection all month at 13 Crosby Street). I’m finally able to sit down and give you guys a recap.

If you follow me on Insta, @kingdes, you probably saw my birthday fits over the weekend. I had such an amazing staycation! Being a busy lady makes it hard for me to plan things for myself, so I spent my last days scrambling. It was mega last minute, but bae and I went to Atlantic City for some quality time away from the babies.

I loved having his undivided attention 🤗 

Fave CC slingbacks! 

Wearing full La Perla Lingerie

Balenciaga booties! 

Dada’s rotation! 

It was my first time in AC actually. We got a one bedroom suite at Ocean Resort Casino. The view was sick!

Ceiling to floor windows covered the entire suite! 

We also had 1 and a half bathrooms! Full shower AND tub 😍 

You honestly don’t even have to leave the resort. Good eats, spa, indoor and outdoor pool are only SOME of the perks.

Yummy food and large portions! 

This burger joint was sooo good! 

😋😋😋 

We really enjoyed our stay! What made it great was only being 2.5 hours from home, AND everything was super affordable! We popped bottles in the room, and enjoyed each other’s company. The resort has a bunch of great lounge areas, shopping, and even a club! We missed Rick Ross that weekend, LOL!

Drop a comment and let me know how you feel about #LouisLuggageLiving posts! I plan on sharing more great vaca ideas!

xx

What I wish someone told me . .

I really don’t know where to start. My mind is rambling with ideas. I type, I erase, I re-type. 

I think I’ll just jump in. Mid pregnancy, until yesterday, I have felt lost. I mean, lost in ways you wouldn’t believe if I explained. Some who know still can’t believe it..

In the midst of all the change I have undergone within and without, (if you are a new mother, i’m sure you can resignate, and if you aren’t, listen) I have always remained faithful to God. That is number one. When you have faith, God moves mountains before your eyes. You have to go through hell to get to heaven.

Focus. Up until yesterday (we’re talking 3 years), I have felt lost. Maybe I didn’t ask for help correctly, or maybe I didn’t ask enough people rather. I realize that I was going through post-partum depression (alone), and in all reality, still healing from the traumas of my life, at least 10 years worth.

WE ALL GOT DIFFERENT SHIT.

I don't come from a place where communicating is normal, let alone, communicating in a functional manner. I also do not come from glitz and glam. My struggle is different, and I respect it because it’s molding me. It’s not something I have shared with many people. One to be exact. I just wanted to let it out to all of you. Lay it, and leave it there.

I want everyone to know I am a REAL PERSON, and I am going through REAL things. THOSE THINGS MATTER. MY FEELINGS DO MATTER. I’m not just King Des, with the picture perfect life, like many people assume. I want everyone to remember that when they compare themselves to me, or anyone else out there.

YOU ARE GOLDEN.

I don’t know why I didn’t look further than the wall I’ve been looking at all this time. When we are stuck IN it, it’s easier said than done. Ask for help in more than one place. Dig deeper. There’s a light at the end.

I briefly want to touch on social, because with social media being such a big piece of my life, it also weighed in on me at a point. I wanted to delete it. I hated it because it consumed me. Made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, or that my feed had to look a certain way. FUCK THAT. 

I had to reposition my heart and reposition my outlook. I had to undergo A LOT of negative things, but I’m grateful. Don’t be ashamed. NOTHING IS PERFECT. 

My point in all of this is that it’s okay to undergo change. It’s okay to undergo emotion. It’s okay when things don’t work out. 

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted”

Have faith, and stay gracious. Always.

JJGRANT - “Nobody cares if you cry”

Back in April, I was introduced to JJGRANT and immediately was drawn to the brand. I have a deep love for brands who tell a story, alongside phenomenal quality and aesthetic.

JJGRANT brings just that. Stories behind the brand and it’s releases. Allow me to introduce you to the Crybaby Sweatshirt —

So what’s the deal? What’s the story behind this latest piece?

I had just recently got dumped by this girl that I was dealing with for a little over 2 years, and aside from my ego being bruised and my feelings being hurt ... I was honestly confused. I was confused about her just leaving me the way she did. I mean, she didn't even give me a 2 weeks notice. 

First off, the quality of the sweatshirt is INSANE. JJGRANT’s factory is based out of LA, bringing you this heavy weight piece that’s cropped perfectly, distressed just right, and the detail is nuts!

Love these details! WARNING: NOBODY CARES IF YOU CRY!

On October 4th she told me: 

"I can't grow with you "  

I cried like a baby and she watched .... and then she left.

And now here we are,  November 16th,  and the cry baby sweaters are out, dedicated to the ones who cried alone .... you won't cry forever XX 

And that’s big facts! I damn sure know that I can relate to these feelings, but we can’t cry forever. Heartbreak won’t last for life, and what better way to express yourself than through your clothing?!

- 

Know that it doesn’t stop here. Another recent drop by the brand is the Peter Pan tee.

"I fell in love with a hoe" and that's me just being honest. You can't help who you fall in love with.  

Made and produced in the USA, this tee is one of the heaviest cottons on the market, and the entire design is printed in puff, a JJGRANT favorite.

It's a pretty bold shirt. The vintage green color, along with its boxy 90s silhouette makes it a classic piece. 

Alongside these pieces, JJGRANT offers plenty more must cops. Below are some of my personal favorites:

On August 25th, the brand held it’s second solo pop up in Harlem. It was completely outside of the box, the work showcased inside of a tent. It was 20x20 and covered entirely in graffiti telling their story.

Building a streetwear brand isn't easy, and there is no right or wrong way of doing things. It’s just about getting it done.

Early next year you can find the brand in Vegas, vending at Liberty Fairs. You can also expect an exclusive pop up on Valentine's Day.

To shop these pieces and more, check them out at www.jjgrantnyc.com/

RTR x WeWork

If you follow me on Insta, @kingdes, you may have caught my stories on all the fun I had yesterday with Rent the Runway! 

I was invited to celebrate the launch of the company partnering with WeWork. If you haven’t already heard, Rent the Runway allows you to do just that, RENT THE RUNWAY! They have thousands of amazing designer options to choose from. We’re talking clothing to accessories. Why buy when you can rent, right?

I’m all about a good pant!

I had a great time! I met some incredible people, Tanya Taylor was the guest speaker, there was the cutest hors d'oeuvres (that I couldn’t stop eating) , and good vibes and music from the moment I came in!

Was loving her sequin midi skirt! A turtleneck is always a chic choice.

Jacket: Saint Laurent, Turtleneck: Balenciaga, Pant: Rick Owens, Shoes: Chanel

As I was leaving, entering the elevator with us was a woman wearing an Opening Ceremony Insomniac Jacket that I just finished seeing at the event and falling in love with. I said to her,

“Your jacket is so cute! I’m pretty sure I just saw that same jacket upstairs”

She laughed in her hands and said,

“Yeah I just switched it out with what I had on because I’m crazy like that. I’m so bad!”

I don’t blame her! This is a bomb ass jacket!

What’s dope about RTR is that you get to wear whatever you want, without having to commit to it either. I can be indecisive when it comes to fashion, PLUS there are just SO MANY GOOD THINGS OUT THERE. I don’t want to break the bank to get a $800 jacket, when I know I’ll see a $525 pant the next day! Haha! RTR gives you endless options on options. It’s even perfect for special occasions, like a cocktail party or wedding. A great investment, in my opinion.

Here are a few of my favorites available to rent. They have different rental options, along with photos and reviews from other’s who have rented the item as well, which is always a plus! Makes deciding easier when you get the opinions of a bunch of other fashion fanatics out there just like you!

Click on an image to rent!

How do you feel? Is this a new love connection? Leave a comment below letting me know!

You can gain more knowledge on RTR here