Perspective, and keeping it positive.
So I’ve been doing my best to share as much as I can with you guys about real life shit. No one is perfect, and that includes myself. So much has been going on in my life for the past 2.5 years, and I’m finally starting to view things in a different light. I’m learning just how important a fresh, positive, and healthy perspective is to your life. It is so vital to have a positive outlook, because if not, you will only bring forth negativity. That negativity will invade whether you’re cognizant or not.
Take it from ya girl, it is SO EASY to get lost in a negative headspace. I’m talking so easy, that before we know it, we’re not only harming ourselves, but can easily inflict that harm onto those around us, even those that we deeply love.
Nothing worth having is easy, I know this now by experience. It is so easy to fall into a negative mindset. It’s a fight you have to fight every single day (at least for me) to stay in a positive space. Some of us are stronger than others, some of us have gone through different struggles, and some of us are just in different places in our lives and thought process. These are all okay.
I personally am finding new ways to stay positive for myself, to be able to reflect that positivity onto those in my life. I’ve mentioned a few blog posts back that I do not come from healthy communication, let alone communication period. Realizing that has been a blessing because I am working on refocusing my thoughts and using more appropriate words when I speak life on myself and others. To those I have affected in my journey, I sincerely apologize.
For so long I hadn’t realized that I was only digging a deeper, negative hole for myself and it was all because of my perspective. Perspective is a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. As I mentioned, it’s so easy to fall into negative thoughts, and allow yourself to really believe negative things, subconsciously.
I read somewhere “don’t believe everything you think”. That’s stuck with me so much because until recently I would literally believe everything I thought, which was mostly negative at a point in my life. I would question every single thing because I wasn’t aware of myself. I lacked confidence. I was lost in a season that God placed me to grow in. I wasn’t aware that I was dealing with such fragile emotions in an unhealthy way.
So what are some healthy ways to keep your perspective fresh? Acknowledgement is first. We have to take a step back and look at our TRUE SELVES. Take a look around you. Give thanks for what you have, and do not dwell on the things you don’t. Give yourself affirmations of the glorious life you live, AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN! Do not dwell on negativity, like staying in a negative or sad mindset for long. Talk yourself out of it! Write down how you feel! Find healthy forms of releasing the negativity. Also, and this is a big one for me since I’m still learning it: TALK IT OUT. I really only knew how to rely on one person and that isn’t good. We have to get our feelings out. Talk to a friend, a family member, a therapist. Anyone who can allow you to release your negatives in a POSITIVE way.
Remember you only get one life, so make the most of it. Start everyday with the right perspective and nothing can stand in your way. For anyone out there consumed by negativity, I see you. I know what that feels like. PROMISE YOURSELF you won’t stop fighting. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you are worth the journey. Keep your best foot forward, and let positive thoughts flow through you.
Sending you love and light ♥️
xx
The effects of social media, and not letting it get to your head.
Let me start this off by saying I absolutely love my social media family and I wouldn’t trade them in for anything in the world! I am so grateful that social media (Instagram specifically) has given me such an amazing platform and I’m so fortunate to have so many amazing supporters on IG, 23.7K and growing to be exact! ♥️
As much as I love it, I’m sure we’ve all been there. I find that the more I use my Insta-G, it’s very easy for me to get caught up in things that don’t matter. Without even realizing it, we begin to compare ourselves to people who only shine a light on a fraction of their lives, and that fraction is made up of rainbows and love songs.
Most of you already follow me on Instagram @kingdes, and know that I like to keep it as real as possible. If you don’t already follow me, don’t worry, we’ll give you a second to click the link and get acquainted.
Acquainted? Good, let’s continue.
Yesterday I made a #PersonalPost sharing how the last couple of weeks social media has really taken a toll on me. I don’t wish to come off ungrateful, but it is very hard balancing social media being a large portion of my brand, being a mother to a 2 year old, being there for my husby as a wife, and just taking care of myself altogether. The real tea is that I feel as though I hold a big responsibility to my following. I love you all so much, and I want to be there in every way possible, making myself as available as I can be. Without realizing that this app plays such a huge role in my life, it has become very easy for me to fall into what I call the “social media hole”. You start scrolling and scrolling and scrolling until you can’t scroll anymore and subconsciously you made a list of things comparing yourself to others. I find people are so quick to #Goals someone else’s life (mine included), and not #Goals their own lives! We’re so fast to think “Wow I want what they have, OMG look at her new Balenciagas, sheesh her boobs are perfect, damn I wish I was invited to that event, man why haven’t I moved yet” and the list goes on, and on, and on, until you don’t realize subconsciously you’re putting out negative energy.
What I’m trying to get at is that it’s important for us to remember that social media is just that, social media. People only show about 2% of their real life, and that 2% reflects as 100% happy. No one wants to show their hardships. No one wants to show a struggle. Here is where I differ. I want you all to really know who Destinie is, and get to know me for exactly who I am. I don’t try to hide behind a post curated to emulate perfection. I want to be exactly who I am for you so that you fall in love with me for ME! A REAL HUMAN BEING!
30 paragraphs later, and this blog post point is that I want to help anyone out there who has fallen victim to social media. I decided to do a little research, and I came up with a few tips that I hope can help! —
- Don’t let social media be the first thing you do in the morning. It’s so easy to grab that phone off the rip. Instead, wake up and give thanks. Be still. Take a couple of minutes to really plant your energy. If you visualize positivity, this is what you will get. Think about what you want to accomplish that day. Take time to focus on yourself, and give gratitude for things you have in your life before you start scrolling and comparing yourself to someone else.
- Give yourself a time frame. Some of us use IG as a business tool and HAVE to use it more frequently. I personally made a rule that I will not hop on Insta before 9A. Think about what time you want to get on, what you want accomplish while on, and then get off. Here’s a little fun challenge my best friends church was doing: from 7P-7A NO PHONE! Map something like this for yourself!
- Be selective with what you respond to. This is a really big one for me. Studies show that stress is caused by social overload. I personally have to deal with a lot of people on a day-to-day basis, and it can become very overwhelming. Take the time you need to take a step back and don’t always feel like you have to respond. Most importantly, DO NOT RESPOND TO NEGATIVITY. Sadly everyone isn’t polite on social media, and giving into this will only drain you. Believe me. Keep it positive.
- I want to note that it’s totally okay to get inspired by others, BUT never feel like you’re not good enough. The moment you start to see that you’re comparing yourself, or having ill thoughts, close the app.
- Sometimes the ones we’re inspired by can affect us and that’s okay. Unfollow any pages that make you feel less than grand. Mute them. Swipe to the next story. Do whatever it is you have to do to keep the positive thoughts flowing.
If you have any tips that help you conquer social, please comment them below! Also, let me know if you’ll be trying any of my tips, and how they work out!
Again, I love you ALL and THANK YOU for being my family ♥️