A different Friday

What’s good ya’ll! Thank you for stopping in on a continuous Friday, to kingdes.com. I want to start this by saying I LOVE and APPRECIATE you all so much for the continuous support you have poured, not only into my brand, but into me. I am flourishing in ways I never fathomed.

Slowly but surely I have started the process of acceptance. Let’s face it, I aim for perfection (a topic for another day). There’s nothing wrong with wanting perfection, but when you aren’t taking a step back to appreciate the world around you and the blessings pouring in, things can get clouded.

I’m making a shift in utilizing my platform.

I’ve always done more for others than I have myself. Not this time ya’ll. This time I’m taking full control of my life. I’m doing what I want, what feels right, but most importantly, through God’s plan. I’m going to follow my instincts and intuition, like I should have for a very long time. Follow your intuition. Follow your gut. God didn’t give us this gift to waste it.

I move on to say that things around here are changing. I’ll have new content every Friday on kingdes.com, but it’ll be a switch up. A blog post, new merch, a video. I’m working to mark up a calendar to keep you guys in the loop (shoutout to mama who suggested this! I love the idea). There will be different time drops for different time zones, etc, so make sure you’re keeping up on here, IG, Twitter, and via email, contact@kingdes.com. You can still shop my pieces at 13 Crosby Street in Soho 7 days a week, 12P-7P!

I have been so back and forth with deciding on what to do, but I knew for some time. I haven’t been able to detach myself from the demand of the Friday drops, but I need to refresh my creative mind. Believe me, I’M WORKING. New blog posts, setting up weekly shoots to get comfortable in my skin, hittin the gym to push myself and fall in love with my body again, and dancing to free my mind and those clouds we spoke about. Find what moves you.  

I couldn’t be more proud to be following my heart with the changes ahead for myself and my brand. I have such a beautiful goal I’m working toward, and I’m so hard on myself when it isn’t going exactly how I visioned it. When things aren’t going exactly how you plan, remember it’s because God has a plan far larger than the one you’re thinking about. Trust him, and keep going.

Follow me on @kingdes and @shopkingdes for updates on the heat that’s CONTINUING. Oh, and today I dropped a preorder for neon Life is Gucci tees.

Love ya 🌸

in any moment we chose fear instead of love we deny ourselves of paradise

via @vbiancav

Perspective, and keeping it positive.

So I’ve been doing my best to share as much as I can with you guys about real life shit. No one is perfect, and that includes myself. So much has been going on in my life for the past 2.5 years, and I’m finally starting to view things in a different light. I’m learning just how important a fresh, positive, and healthy perspective is to your life. It is so vital to have a positive outlook, because if not, you will only bring forth negativity. That negativity will invade whether you’re cognizant or not.

Take it from ya girl, it is SO EASY to get lost in a negative headspace. I’m talking so easy, that before we know it, we’re not only harming ourselves, but can easily inflict that harm onto those around us, even those that we deeply love. 

Nothing worth having is easy, I know this now by experience. It is so easy to fall into a negative mindset. It’s a fight you have to fight every single day (at least for me) to stay in a positive space. Some of us are stronger than others, some of us have gone through different struggles, and some of us are just in different places in our lives and thought process. These are all okay.

I personally am finding new ways to stay positive for myself, to be able to reflect that positivity onto those in my life. I’ve mentioned a few blog posts back that I do not come from healthy communication, let alone communication period. Realizing that has been a blessing because I am working on refocusing my thoughts and using more appropriate words when I speak life on myself and others. To those I have affected in my journey, I sincerely apologize.

For so long I hadn’t realized that I was only digging a deeper, negative hole for myself and it was all because of my perspective. Perspective is a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. As I mentioned, it’s so easy to fall into negative thoughts, and allow yourself to really believe negative things, subconsciously.

I read somewhere “don’t believe everything you think”. That’s stuck with me so much because until recently I would literally believe everything I thought, which was mostly negative at a point in my life. I would question every single thing because I wasn’t aware of myself. I lacked confidence. I was lost in a season that God placed me to grow in. I wasn’t aware that I was dealing with such fragile emotions in an unhealthy way. 

So what are some healthy ways to keep your perspective fresh? Acknowledgement is first. We have to take a step back and look at our TRUE SELVES. Take a look around you. Give thanks for what you have, and do not dwell on the things you don’t. Give yourself affirmations of the glorious life you live, AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN! Do not dwell on negativity, like staying in a negative or sad mindset for long. Talk yourself out of it! Write down how you feel! Find healthy forms of releasing the negativity. Also, and this is a big one for me since I’m still learning it: TALK IT OUT. I really only knew how to rely on one person and that isn’t good. We have to get our feelings out. Talk to a friend, a family member, a therapist. Anyone who can allow you to release your negatives in a POSITIVE way.

Remember you only get one life, so make the most of it. Start everyday with the right perspective and nothing can stand in your way. For anyone out there consumed by negativity, I see you. I know what that feels like. PROMISE YOURSELF you won’t stop fighting. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you are worth the journey. Keep your best foot forward, and let positive thoughts flow through you. 

Sending you love and light ♥️

xx

What I wish someone told me . .

I really don’t know where to start. My mind is rambling with ideas. I type, I erase, I re-type. 

I think I’ll just jump in. Mid pregnancy, until yesterday, I have felt lost. I mean, lost in ways you wouldn’t believe if I explained. Some who know still can’t believe it..

In the midst of all the change I have undergone within and without, (if you are a new mother, i’m sure you can resignate, and if you aren’t, listen) I have always remained faithful to God. That is number one. When you have faith, God moves mountains before your eyes. You have to go through hell to get to heaven.

Focus. Up until yesterday (we’re talking 3 years), I have felt lost. Maybe I didn’t ask for help correctly, or maybe I didn’t ask enough people rather. I realize that I was going through post-partum depression (alone), and in all reality, still healing from the traumas of my life, at least 10 years worth.

WE ALL GOT DIFFERENT SHIT.

I don't come from a place where communicating is normal, let alone, communicating in a functional manner. I also do not come from glitz and glam. My struggle is different, and I respect it because it’s molding me. It’s not something I have shared with many people. One to be exact. I just wanted to let it out to all of you. Lay it, and leave it there.

I want everyone to know I am a REAL PERSON, and I am going through REAL things. THOSE THINGS MATTER. MY FEELINGS DO MATTER. I’m not just King Des, with the picture perfect life, like many people assume. I want everyone to remember that when they compare themselves to me, or anyone else out there.

YOU ARE GOLDEN.

I don’t know why I didn’t look further than the wall I’ve been looking at all this time. When we are stuck IN it, it’s easier said than done. Ask for help in more than one place. Dig deeper. There’s a light at the end.

I briefly want to touch on social, because with social media being such a big piece of my life, it also weighed in on me at a point. I wanted to delete it. I hated it because it consumed me. Made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, or that my feed had to look a certain way. FUCK THAT. 

I had to reposition my heart and reposition my outlook. I had to undergo A LOT of negative things, but I’m grateful. Don’t be ashamed. NOTHING IS PERFECT. 

My point in all of this is that it’s okay to undergo change. It’s okay to undergo emotion. It’s okay when things don’t work out. 

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted”

Have faith, and stay gracious. Always.