Mommy Must Haves

I did it. I gave birth to my son, Sincere Makai O’brien.

He is the most beautiful baby boy ever, and officially 2 weeks old today!

I’ve been getting to know him, and getting to know myself as his mommy. As I always say, it takes a village to raise children, and that’s why I love talking to my mommies on IG, recommending products, and learning from them as well.

I’ve gotten many questions about products I use, and as always, I’ll never recommend things I do not truly love. This is not a paid post, simply something I wanted to do to potentially help a fellow mom!

Here are some products that I have been LOVING lately!

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Elvie Wearable Electric Breast Pump

I had to start with Elvie. It has been my favorite item I’ve been using. I do latch my son on directly, but I also pump. I literally pop it in my bra and it’s so easy to use! I will say this is on the pricier side, retailing at $549.99, but for me, so worth it. There are similar options for less, such as the Momcozy brand. Has anyone tried them?

Tommee Tippee Pump and Go Breast Milk Storage Bags

A lot of breast milk bags are similar to Ziploc style, which is why I love the Tommee Tippee breast milk bags. They have a twist top, which keeps my precious liquid gold secure. They’re easy to pour into bottles too, so not a drop goes to waste! A 70 count is about $30.

Auden Nursing Bralette

Target came through with my fave nursing bras! I purchased one of these Auden bras a few days before having to go to the hospital, and ended up getting more because I love them! This particular style is racerback, ribbed, and super comfy. Even better, it’s only $10! Buy it here*

Elvie Catch Secure Milk Collection Cups

Here’s another Elvie product I love! The catch is great, because I pop it in my bra, and it catches all of my leaking breast milk, so nothing goes to waste! It’s really comfortable to wear too! I especially love to use it at night. $35 we’ll spent!

Medela Purelan Lanolin Cream

For my breastfeeding momma’s, this is a lifesaver. Sometimes your nipples can get dry and cracked, especially when you’re just starting to breastfeed. This Medela cream really helps with that, and is safe for your baby to still feed if you have it on. Find it for about $8-$10 online or your local pharmacy.

Hiccapop Wipe Warmer

A wipe warmer is a must in my opinion! It’s better than a super cold wipe touching him, especially during night time changes. The Hiccapop has been great for us! No complaints.

Hello Bello Diapers

Picking a diaper was a little hard for me, but I must say I’m really happy with Hello Bello. I love the designs, and the subscription option is so easy. You can pick different sizes in your bundle, and they include 4 packs of wipes too! No leaks, and they are soft to touch. So far, Sincere’s skin has to taken well to them!

Comotomo Silicone Bottles

Comotomo was the second bottle we tried, and as of right now, we’re sticking with them! Bottles can be tricky, as every baby is different! I tried Tommee Tippee originally, but found that the nipples were closing up as he drank, not allowing the milk to flow, which was very frustrating for both of us. A 2 pack is about $24. Any other bottle recommendations moms?

4moms MamaRoo Sleep Bassinet

Whew, this one is good! 4Moms did their thing with this bassinet! It has both motions and sounds, making sleep time easier for us all. It has a mesh around the bassinet so I can see baby boy through it. Assembly was fairly easy too! 10 out of 10 for me. Retails at $374.99.

4moms MamaRoo4 Swing

Another awesome 4Moms product! This also features motions and sounds for your little one. We have ours in the living room, so he can join us when we’re hanging out there. I do recommend purchasing the newborn insert separately, so that your newborn can be comfy, as this is a big seat for them without it. Retails at $239.99.

Ya’ll, I want to wash MY clothes with this! Dreft smells amazing! I used this with Kyrie as well, and it’s a must for me. I found the stain remover at Target for about $5, and I’m so happy I grabbed it! Lifts the stains right out. Just spray and put in the wash. Yes, yes, and yes!

Diaper Genie

I used Diaper Genie with Kyrie, and absolutely loved it back then, which is why I doubled back on it. It’s really easy to use, and I’ve never had any issues with it. Keeps alllll his smelly diapers under control, lol! Comes in different colors too! Retails at $38.99.

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I hope my guide helps even just one mommy out there! Share this with any mommies you know! Feel free to drop a comment below with any other recommendations you may have, along with any questions you may have for me! Any items you plan on trying from this list? What mommy blog post should I do next?!

A Safe Space 002

Hey momma’s..

I recently posted a story to @kingdes asking what you’d want to discuss together here on safe space. A lot of you mentioned forgiveness and doing the job of mommy, alone. I want to address both of these things here. Before anything, I’m going to share a part of my personal life and current experience.

Number one, my daughter is my world. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for her.

In all actuality, I do everything for her. I’m her mommy, her daddy, her friend, her teacher, her doctor, her cheerleader, her disciplinary, her #1 fan, and I could go on and on. I always keep my daughter’s best interest in mind. ALWAYS. Momma’s, I KNOW FIRST HAND THAT BEING ALL OF THESE THINGS ALONE IS HARD. I SEE YOU, I HEAR YOU, I AM YOU. It isn’t easy, and I don’t think it ever will be. I cry, A LOT. I struggle, A LOT. No matter what, it’s like I have to stand tall for Kyrie. Is it fair to me? HELL NO. I didn’t sign up for this alone, BUT I take it in stride.

So does it get easier? I don’t think so. I think you just learn how to keep pushing through it. One mommy mentioned she can’t let her little man see her down, and that her fake smile is real. I understand that. You HAVE to keep pushing for these little people. Us mothers are the true heroes of the world. We keep it rotating!

As I said, I don’t think it gets easier. The only advice I have is = mindset. Your mindset is what is going to get you through every single thing. How we think affects EVERY FUCKING THING in life. No matter what, try your hardest (and I know it’s hard) to keep a positive mindset. Know that God doesn’t give you anything you cannot handle, so my ladies in this predicament we are FORD TOUGH. Keep your mind strong at all times, and give yourself some mothafuckin PROPS. You are doing the damn thing, and you don’t need ANYONE to validate that!

I know sometimes it doesn’t feel fair. I want to make it very clear, that it isn’t. It isn’t fucking fair, but I promise you it is sooo worth it. In the end, your little one will know who’s the one that did it for ‘em.

Her father and I have yet to come to a mutual agreement when it comes to her, which is what is going to lead me to the topic of forgiveness.

When it comes to forgiveness, I myself am still learning how to do that in entirety. I once loved the man I made Kyrie with, but with time, it became the total opposite. In all reality, when I look back and reflect on our past, I was giving so much of myself, and it wasn’t, and would never be, worth it. That goes for anyone, never give more than you are given, never sacrifice who YOU are for anyone, and never settle for bare minimum bullshit.

I take full responsibility for what I have done, because relationships are a two way street. What I’d like to add to that, is that I didn’t react in the ways that I did for no reason. I gave everything I could, and then some. I sacrificed my happiness for the sake of my family, for the sake of my daughter.

Then, one day I woke up and realized that that wasn’t the example I wanted to show Kyrie. I didn’t want to show her to accept things she wasn’t okay with, to allow others to take her out of character, all of it. It wasn’t who I was, and definitely not what I want my daughter to be.

My last relationship broke me in a way I never thought I could be broken. Shit, I never thought he’d want to break me. We were once so happy, and all of that changed. What can I say besides, shit happens. Til this day I feel like he is still trying to break me, and that’s okay for me now, because I know he can’t. I am so much stronger than I was before. Do I hurt? Of course! I’m human. What really keeps me going is that I never fucking fall down. No matter WHAT is done to me, I don’t fold, I don’t bend, I don’t fuckin break!!!

Ladies, the first step in forgiveness for me, is allowing yourself to feel. Feel what you feel. You’re mad? You have that right! You’re sad? You have that right! Don’t be sorry for how you feel. You are entitled to that. If you don’t reflect on what you feel, you can’t get past it. This isn’t something that happens over night. It takes days, months, years, to be able to accept the hurt you went/go through.

Once you acknowledge what you feel, forgive yourself first. Forgive yourself for allowing certain things in your life. Lessons are blessings! Don’t be so hard on yourself momma!

You’ll know you’ve forgiven yourself when you’re more comfortable to talk about it. When you can talk about it, the way I am now. I forgive myself for allowing what I allowed. That’s why now I focus so hard on what I deserve, no matter what life throws at me.

I hope that all of you who are struggling with forgiveness, have forgiven yourself first. There is no time frame on forgiveness and healing. I am going to say it again, feel what you feel. Cry, scream, stomp, whatever YOU need.

One thing God does is speak very loudly. I will leave you guys with what is coincidently, the Bible verse of the day:

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. — Ephesians 4:32

I love each of you all so much, and just want to remind you that I am here for you. WE are here for you. Feel free to let anything out in the comments below. This is a safe space, 💐

A Safe Space 001

So I was crying. For like, 30 minutes, just crying. Crying because my patience with Kyrie was running sooo thin.

We were doing homework together, and it can be so hard to get her to focus. I know she’s capable, and I get so upset with her when she doesn't give it her all. It’s definitely because I care, and want the best for her. Whenever I do get frustrated in my parenting, it is very hard for me not to let that frustration out. I am a short tempered Aries, and though this is no excuse, it’s true. I get mad very easily, especially when it involves the people I love.

After crying for those 30 minutes, I thought, “Wow, no one talks about how hard being a mom is”. It’s always about how much you love your kids, and how cute they are, and #momlife, but never how much they frustrate the fuck out of you. No one ever says, “Hey, today I wanted to rip my fucking hair out”. Mom’s literally go through so many things, and STILL have to act “okay”.

So that’s why I wanted to create A Safe Space. For us. For moms. For women. For people. Like you.

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I always feel really guilty. Like I’m not doing the best that I can, even though I am. I’m not a perfect mom, even though that’s all I want to be. I’m literally just trying my best, and no one ever talks about how “doing my best” sometimes never feels good enough. Do you feel me? Like you know you’re a kick ass mom, but then it’s like you still feel like shit. What do you do when you feel like that?

When it comes to dealing with my frustration, I’m trying to learn to take a step back. I am nowhere close to mastering this, but I am trying. I need to learn some breathing exercises or something. Do some damn jumping jacks. What do you do when your little one is driving you crazy?

Just a little insight, my Kyrie is 5 going on 15, and she’s very FULL of personality. She’s a Virgo. She’s sassy, demanding, and very sure of herself. I love that for her, but it can be very hard to deal with. I never want to quiet her voice, but at the same time, girl you gon respect me! LOL. Tell me about your kids!!

I look forward to doing this with all of you. I want us to come together, to create a community, to not be afraid to cry, scream and stomp together. To not feel bad. To know that it is NORMAL to not have it all together. That it’s okay to not get it right every single time. It doesn’t make you less of a GREAT mom.

I love you all, and I’m always here. This space is always safe.

💗